her eyes,
they see a girl who’s done enough.
a girl who values her cherished ones,
a girl who continues to write until the hand aches,
a girl who sings to feel every emotion,
a girl who views herself as beautiful.
from her dark brown roots
all the way down to her toes,
she views herself as beautiful,
and she could not allow any other thing
to seep beneath her skin.
until something finally does.
she sits starving at the dinner table,
grabs for multiple rounds,
and eats to her heart’s content,
only to be met with,
“wow, that’s more than you usually eat.”
she grabs for the fruit and water
instead of the coffee and cake,
and smiles down at her colorful platter,
only to be met with,
“are you on a diet?”
she stays home for weeks and weeks
throughout the june days with rising temperatures.
she goes out in a tank top confident as ever,
only to be met with,
“why the hell didn’t you shave your pits?”
she stops wearing makeup for a while
because she doesn’t feel like it.
she walks downstairs with a small pimple on her cheek
only to be met with,
“what is that on your cheek?!”
she puts on concealer and mascara
for a tiny confidence and happiness boost,
she shows up to dinner feeling great
only to be met with,
“why so much makeup? no one’s gonna see you.”
everything she does
conjures up a question about herself,
about what she looks like,
about her beauty,
an “only to be met with.”
she exists in a society
where the main goal is to please somebody.
she exists in a society
that resembles a cat walk,
with everybody’s eyes on you and what you look like.
she exists in a society
that cannot allow her to feel comfortable
because of the way she looks.
she yearns to live in a world
where “only to be met with” did not exist.
she keeps viewing herself as courageous,
as confident,
as beautiful,
and that is more than enough.
read more about Marieska here
read more about Christine here