on the move from eight to midnight,
no place for me to stop,
no chance to exhale.
class after class,
meeting after meeting,
i try to stay awake
until i click the red button
after saying
the only two words
that leave my mouth for the meeting’s duration:
“thank you.”
from the rise of the sun,
till my head hits the pillow,
i am never alone.
people surrounding me,
from strangers to the best of friends,
asking to hang out,
to have dinner,
to stroll around the city paths,
twenty-four seven
and i can’t seem to breathe.
i know i’m tired,
i know i’m exhausted,
i know i’m not fine,
but i can’t look like a fool,
so the smile stays plastered
because that translates to,
“everything is fine.”
all this time
i’ve been alive
without actually living.
marieska do this,
marieska do that,
many things i have done,
have been done for the validation from
and the satisfaction for
those around me
how can i live
if i don’t even know myself?
when will i begin
to know who
i
really am?
-
a plane and four finals later,
i wake up alone.
nothing to do,
no one to see.
i look in the mirror.
who am i?
Read more about Marieska here