Southern California, where I grew up, and where I am currently given the circumstances, just had a massive rainstorm—a true rarity; a beautiful sight to all those who live here; a glorious sound to all those who need white noise to sink into sleep.
I stayed up late last night practicing some one-lined doodles as my mini Schnauzer best friend, Gunther, laid atop the fifteen pound weighted blanket on my lap my best friend got me for Christmas. My legs went numb, but it was okay. I let myself soak in that contentment, knowing my departure to college is less than two weeks away.
I soaked until I slept.
I awoke with a new sense of sorrowful excitement to explore the dreary neighborhood and its dampened coordinated Christmas decor. This day is for me. The rain is for me. So I dug through my ready-to-ship boxes, lugged out my Paddington-esque raincoat, and eagerly rushed out the door. I walked and walked, puddle-hunted, splashed, and soaked until the cold water rushing past my feet froze my toes through my yellow Doc Martens.
I stood until I was soaked.
While this is the second time I’m traveling to Boston, it feels heavier to face head-on. The pandemic brought bountiful relationships and experiences into my life, as well as a priceless self-discovery journey. But, more importantly, this past year has given me more reason to love this silly little town after trying to escape and be as far from it as I possibly could.
I’d run until there was nowhere else for me to venture to.
It took awhile to realize I had control over the way I perceive the world around me no matter how cloaked with evil it is and how trapped I felt. Reciting mantras to myself each day helped me reclaim my life. One of them being:
I attract the people, opportunities, energies, and experiences that will benefit and fulfill my life—I attract what is especially for me. I rebuke everything else.
These words are the rainwater runoff rushing against my rainboots. From now on, I will choose to welcome things into my life with open arms because I know that these occurrences are for me. I will continue to set boundaries for myself, I will continue to enter this healthy mindset, and I will continue to grow into myself and the things that the universe has set out for me.
I now want to soak until I can no longer stand.
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